Hi. I'm melodramatically ill today.

It's early June, the weather is warm, the birds are singing, and I have a motherfucking cold. Explain to me how that works. While you're at it, please tell me how this much grotesqueness can be contained in a single human head because the laws of physics say it shouldn't be possible. I dream of lovely, soft tissues. My nose is eroding off my face.

Panic at the Goddamn Disco is getting blamed for this. Between the time spent pressed against teenies at HCT and the hours on a bus with the dregs of humanity, it's a wonder I don't have Black Death.

To top it all off, the monthly scourge just started. I'm waiting for the foot of god to descend, Monty Pythonesque, out of the clouds to crush me.